Sunday, April 7, 2024
After the terrific party on Saturday, Sunday took on a
completely different tone.
We all got up and attended the church service. Silvia,
Toshi, and Kim were warmly welcomed. Many of those in attendance had been at
the party the day before and were still in a celebratory mood.
We returned a couple of hours later for a much more solemn
occasion.
The time had come to celebrate the life of our Japanese
daughter, and Toshi’s wife, Kae.
Unfortunately, some of the people who knew her were unable
to attend, but quite a few of the church people and some of the folks who were
part of our writing group came. (Kae and Toshi had sat in on our meetings
several times when they were here visiting.) As always, the most important
people were there.
Rev. Bob Schwenck facilitated the service since Pastor
Leanne Strommen was out of town. This seemed appropriate since Bob not only
knew Kae and Toshi from their frequent visits, but he conducted their wedding
in the same church in 2003.
He threw Kim a curve ball by asking her to read the 23rd
Psalm. (He was supposed to read it, but he thought it would mean more if Kim
read it. I had asked the family if they wished to speak several days earlier.
Larry said he wouldn’t be able to get through it. So did Kim and Toshi.)
Kim got through it but with lots of emotion. Kae was her
dear sister, and they were close.
I had known I wanted to tell everyone what Kae had meant to
me and to our family. I’d spent many sleepless nights during the previous month
trying to edit all the things I’d wanted to say about this precious member of
our family. I finally decided just to speak spontaneously.
I told about how I had only given birth to one child but how
we had acquired quite a few others through the years. The first foreign student
in our home was with us that morning. Silvia had arrived the week after we
moved into our new home in Dana Point in 1987. She was followed by Yuka,
Yasuko, Yuko, Fumiko, Yoshiko, and another Fumiko. Our last one came in the
spring of 1998. Kim hosted a student, Ikue, and her neighbors, the McKinneys,
hosted another, Kae. Because they lived so close, the three girls spent a lot
of time together—much of it at our house. (I always said we got three for the
price of one with this group!)
My mother provided quite a bit of their transportation since
Larry and I and Kim were all working at the time. She fell in love with all
three of them. She couldn’t remember their Japanese names, so she referred to
them by their characteristics. Ikue was “the little one” since she was short
like Kim. Fumiko was “the funny one” since she had a great sense of humor and
loved to laugh. Kae was “the pretty one.”
Later that summer, we moved to Osaka, Japan to build the
Universal Studios Japan theme park. During our stay, we saw all but one of “our
kids.” We saw Kae and her then-boyfriend the most often as they visited us
about once a month.
When we returned, Toshi worked for a company which required
him to make trips to the US. Whenever he came, he tried to extend his trips to
spend time with us. He sometimes brought Kae with him.
Even though they were legally married in Japan, they wanted
their wedding in California. So in 2003, they were married in our church.
Wedding 2023
They continued to visit us whenever they could, and our home
in Dana Point became their second home.
On our anniversary in 2010, the phone rang at 3:00 a.m.
Toshi was calling from the hospital. Kae had collapsed and was not expected to
survive. All we could do from the distance was promise to pray for her. And we
asked the church prayer chain to join us. Despite the “less than 5% chance” her
neurosurgeon gave her of surviving, she not only recovered by thrived. And she
(and he) credited all the prayers for the miracle.
A couple of years later, she became a Cordon Bleu chef. The
next time she visited, she prepared a beautiful four-course meal for us and our
friends.
In April of 2022, she was supposed to start a class toward completing
her master’s degree. Instead, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and
entered the hospital.
By June, Toshi began talking about bringing her home to
California one last time. However, her doctor would not clear her to fly until
October. As she entered our house, she smiled at me. “Mom, I’m home.” And for
her, this was the place she considered “home” more than anywhere else.
On December 20th, Toshi texted me that she had
lost consciousness. A few hours later, he called Larry. “She’s gone.”
I suggested perhaps he could bring her ashes here and spread
them at Dana Point. He told me he had a note in her writing making this
request.
And this was the day.
Even though Toshi had initially said he couldn’t speak, he
changed his mind. His words were articulate and heartfelt as he described this
beautiful soul.
Then Rev. Bob read a scripture and a poem he had written for
her.
We then showed the memorial video about Kae. https://youtu.be/RJw-NYz3dBU
Following the service, we gathered at our home for a small
reception. Then we proceeded to the marina to board a catamaran to take us out
to sea so we could spread her ashes.
I had taken a basket of roses to the church for the service,
and we tossed them into the water. https://youtu.be/lUBfjQ-eSYk
Larry’s brother and sister-in-love, Casey and Lucy, could
not join us, but the rest of us went to dinner at the Wind and Sea in the
Marina. We had kept our promise to Kae.
The Rest of the Week
On Monday, we spent time with all three of our kids.
Silvia, Toshi, Lorna, Larry, Kim on
our front steps
We delivered Toshi to the airport for his 7:30 a.m. flight
on Tuesday morning, after which, Silvia, Kim, and we went to breakfast at Mollie’s
in San Juan Capistrano (Kim’s favorite breakfast pace).
Then we went down to the Outlets in San Clemente, where Kim and Silvia bought a few gifts to take home with them.
We ate an early dinner at Harpoon Henry's and then went to the point to take a photo.
Silvia, Lorna, Larry, Kim at Dana
Point
Silvia was supposed to have left on Wednesday, but there was
a mix-up about her flight time. She was supposed to fly to Hong Kong for a
couple of days to visit a friend. However, it worked out okay since her friend
was ill. Silvia’s travel agent was able to book her on a different flight
leaving on Thursday afternoon.
We were able to spend a little more time with her and enjoyed
it. Then, on Thursday, we drove her down to LAX with plenty of time before her
flight.
Since we had all day Friday to spend with Kim, we got her a
ticket to Disneyland and spent the day with her there. We all enjoyed both
parks, as always.
Saturday was her day to do laundry and repack for her trip
home to Texas. She had a 7:45 a.m. flight out of John Wayne, so we got her
there by six. She had an uneventful trip.
The house seemed quite empty when we returned. We had
thoroughly enjoyed having all three of the kids with us. After the very busy
week before, we were determined to rest and relax for a couple of days.
Post Script
As Toshi requested, we made arrangements for her to have a rose bush planted in the church's memorial rose garden. We talked about getting one called Yokohama, but we discovered this Japanese hybrid can not be exported to the US. Instead, we agreed on Disneyland Floribunda since the trip to Disneyland was on her bucket list and we had made it happen for her.
Last week, the bush was planted, near the arbor where she took pictures on her last visit and right next to "Grandma" where she would have wanted to be. The marker is on order and should be in place when Toshi visits next.