Learning to Let Go

Learning to Let Go

As I get older, I am more and more conscious of the “stuff” we’ve accumulated over the last fifty-five years we’ve been married. We’ve lived in this house for thirty-three-plus years. It’s a big house with lots of storage and a three-car garage. But someday, we may want to downsize. What will we do with everything?

Every time I get serious about purging, however, we seem to acquire more.

My brother’s recent death added a few more items. I have made a concerted effort to give away most of his things to people who will appreciate it.

I have kept a few family items, and they have been added to our stash.

The main item I kept was this tapestry.

Originally, it belonged to my grandparents. After my grandmother died, my brother took it home. It hung at the end of Grandma’s hallway for as long as I can remember. They moved into their house in 1928, and it may have been there since then. It is a really nice painting on heavy burlap of Mission San Juan Capistrano.

When we unearthed it at his place, it was so embedded with dust I wasn’t sure it could be salvaged. However, Larry brushed it off and then vacuumed it. We hung it out for several weeks, and it now looks like the piece I remember as a child. When I look at it, it makes me smile.

We talked to the mission about donating it to them. However, they already have a similar one and didn’t need another.

We’ve decided to keep it. It may become the cover image for our third San Juan historical. (We first have to finish the second one and then write the third.)

It took moving things around so we had enough room for it on our walls, but I’m glad we decided to keep it.

We also brought home the oil painting which had belonged to my mother. When Larry brought it out, it had a thick layer of dust and dirt. We couldn’t even make out the details.

Again, Larry brushed it off and vacuumed it. It still looked pretty terrible. Fortunately, our friend, Bob Schwenck, is a restoration specialist. He took the painting, cleaned it, and re-varnished it. The colors are back, and it looks the way I remember it.

Bob wanted me to keep it, but if I’d wanted it, I would have kept it when my mother moved in with us. My brother had it because I didn’t want it. This was easy to let go of. We will auction it and share the net profit with Bob.

So, we now have more “stuff” in our house. SIGH.

This year, I have lost many friends as well as my brother. I have become uncomfortably aware of my own mortality. Having had to empty my brother’s home, I am hyper aware of everything we have accumulated and how that burden will fall on our daughter when we are gone.

Yep. Time to start thinning our “stuff” down. Oh, but first, there are edits to finish and books to write…

Are you able to keep your “stuff” to a minimum? If so, how?

Let it Go

My brother and I are cursed with incredible memories. We never forget anything. In my case, this ‘gift’ makes it very hard to get rid of ‘stuff.’

We just re-carpeted the whole house and are now in the process of putting everything back. We decided to weed out a lot of the things we really don’t need anymore. But…

What about the items friends made for us? We may not have used them—yet, but we might someday. And after all, thought and effort went into them.

What about all the old photos? We’ve scanned a lot of them, but we have nearly fifty albums plus two plastic file cabinets full. Somehow, we became the repository for all the family photos from both sides of the family. We’ll keep the ones commemorating special occasions, like weddings, but what about the others?

We uncovered grandparents’ and parents’ mini-albums of the formal photos from our wedding and Kim’s. What about those? We have the large one of ours, and Kim has her big one. What about the rest?

There are also quite a few formal portraits of other family members with no children. They are all gone now, so what do we do with those pictures?

I love the song from Frozen, “Let it Go.” I wish I could. All these treasures have sentimental attachments. Some were wedding gifts. Others were presents for our twenty-fifth anniversary. I still remember the people who gave them to us. I smile each time I recall these old friends and family members, and I don’t want to part with their gifts.

Fortunately, we have a large house, but someday, we may want to downsize. What then?

We are taking a little time as we put things back in place to evaluate what to keep, what to toss, and what to give away. I’m sure we’ll still end up with far too much stuff!

I need to start sorting through my shoes. Does anyone wear size five wide? And I really intend to read all these books—someday.

Time to get back to it. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get this done quickly? Never mind. I probably won’t take the advice anyway.