Coming Home

 I always love it when our kids come home to visit. This past couple of years have been challenging, what with Covid and travel restrictions.

Our Japanese “son,” Toshi, used to come to California on business several times a year. He extended each trip by a few days so he could come to Dana Point for a visit. He was actually here with us the day foreign travel was shut down in 2020. We suggested he just remain here, but he said he had obligations in Japan. He flew out that night, and we hadn’t seen him since.

We all bemoaned his inability to travel during the time he was gone.

However, he is now fully vaccinated, and the restrictions have been lifted—or at least lightened. He arrived on May 3 for over three weeks with us, and we were so happy to see him!

When he comes, he brings two laptop computers and continues to participate in Zoom meetings and to do work while he is here. I keep urging him to take a REAL vacation. Also, because his clients are in Asia, most of his meetings are late at night or in the wee hours of the morning. Sleep is a luxury for him!

He has many friends here in Orange County and San Diego. So, while he is here, he plans visits to see them. We still have three cars, so he uses mine during his stays.

If he goes out drinking with his friends, he always texts me to let me know he is spending the night where he is, rather than driving home. I appreciate his thoughtfulness and consideration.

While he was here, we went to Disneyland with him one day. We were pleased that he could get a ticket and that we could make reservations for the same day. We had a great time!

He took several early morning walks at the marina with us, and we enjoyed having him. On his last evening, we took the Bluff Top Trail (or the Hide Trail) just before sunset. It is short, but it has gorgeous views of the harbor, which we all enjoyed.

Larry meets several of his friends via Zoom a couple of times a month. Most of them are retired, and some live away from California. Since Toshi knows most of them, Larry invited him to join them for a meeting.

He was very impressed. He said his father is retired, but he has no relationships with any other men since his retirement. Toshi wants to create a template for the kind of group he observed here. He wants market it to companies as part of their retirement packages as a way for former employees to stay in touch. I certainly hope he can find a way to make it work.

Since he knows many of our friends, he attended a number of events and church with us.

Like our daughter, Kim, Toshi has favorite restaurants to visit while he is here. One is our favorite, The Harbor Grill in Dana Point Harbor. We enjoyed a lovely dinner there with him.

He also wanted an American steak before he left. We had a meal at the Claim Jumper. He and Larry each ordered a different steak and then shared them so they could taste both.

He always has items to purchase while he is here in California. This time, he bought two pairs of driving shoes. Several years ago, we bought him a pair. He told us they are now worn out.

He also looked for T-shirts. He likes simple ones without designs. He found a couple he liked.

One Saturday morning, we went down to the Outlets at San Clemente for Cars and Coffee. He loves fast cars, and there were plenty of them for him to look at. Afterward, we ate brunch at Ruby’s Diner.

His stay was over far too quickly. He flew to San Francisco, where he planned to spend a couple of days. Then he took two days to visit the Napa Valley. He swore he was taking a real vacation while he was there.

He will fly back to Tokyo in a couple of days from San Francisco. He hopes to be back here again in a few months. We certainly hope this will be possible since we thoroughly enjoy having him.

Our Children

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

Kahlil Gibran The Prophet

I read this beautiful book many years ago, and its wisdom has remained powerful for me. The section on children is a reminder that our biological children are not extensions of ourselves but a gift we are given and pass on to the world. They are their own separate beings. Our task as parents is to help them become all they can be.

We had only one biological child, our daughter, Kimberly. We are proud of the beautiful human being she has become—perhaps in spite of us.

When she was growing up, we always took another child with us whenever we went somewhere so she would have company. Over the years, some of those were “added” to our family, like Donna, Erin, Savannah, and our godchild, Tracy. We are also close to our nieces and nephews. We would do anything for them.

When we moved to Dana Point nearly 35 years ago, we began to host foreign students in our home for “homestay” programs. They lived with us for between six and twelve weeks. They became our children. Most of them have returned to visit us here in California. Our Spanish daughter was Miss International. She is now an actress. Our six from Japan visited us during the time we lived there. We visited them, too.

Dad, Ikue, Fumiko, Yasuko with Daisuke, Kim, Vera (my mother), Mom, Kae, Yuko

Yasuko had a small child when we arrived. During our time there, she and her husband had a second. These are our only grandchildren. Make no mistake, they are ours.

Through church friends, we learned about Music Mission Kiev (Kyiev). They used to tour the US every other year, and the orchestra and choir members were housed in private homes. We hosted musicians for five of those tours. The last ones were young singers with the opera chorus. We have remained in contact with several of these musicians. When the attacks began on Ukraine, we immediately thought or our friends there. And we began to pray. Our prayers continue.

Last December, good friends in Texas hosted a Ukrainian orphan in their home for several weeks—including through Christmas. While she was there, our friend posted almost daily about the experience. They loved being able to give this precious little girl a real family and a special holiday to remember.

This morning, the “dad” posted this picture along with the final photo taken of him and her before they put her on the plane

“This was the last thing I used the translator for when I was taking our sweet girl to the airport to go back to Ukraine in January. She begged to not go back not even knowing this war was around the corner. Pretty heartbreaking to have a child who calls you dad living in a war zone and there is nothing you can do to change it…”

He gave me permission to use the photo of the two of them, but in order to protect their privacy, I have chosen not to. However, their looks gave little doubt about their mutual love for each other.

These images broke my heart. This little girl is truly their child, just as our “kids” are truly ours.

Our Japanese son arrived yesterday, and we are delighted to have him.

Do you have any children who are not related by blood but who are our hearts’ children?