Celebrating Thanksgiving Away From Family

This year, we celebrated a quiet Thanksgiving by ourselves. We had a nice dinner with turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, homemade cranberry sauce, baby peas (Larry’s favorites), croissants, and Aunt Muriel’s Pumpkin Chiffon Pie for dessert. (More about this later.)

 

We spoke on the phone with Larry’s brother, Casey, and the rest of his family. We usually celebrate Thanksgiving with them. (Christmas is usually at our house.) They had more people than we were comfortable with, but we enjoyed talking to them. Kim was with friends in Texas, and our niece, Carrie, was with her immediate family in Utah.

 

This was far from the first Thanksgiving we have spent away from the rest of our family.

 

In 1969, we moved across the country to Illinois. Larry had to go for work, so we packed up and traveled there. We were both very close to our families, and this move felt traumatic.

 

In retrospect, it probably strengthened our marriage far more than anything else we have ever experienced. We had to learn to depend on each other. We were all we had.

 

We also learned to be flexible. This did not come naturally to me, but this experience and others along the way taught me great lessons.

 

We made good friends, Carol and Bob Wilson, while we were there. This couple had a three-year-old girl, Denise. Kim was two. They became friends and playmates.

 

For Thanksgiving that year, Carol’s parents invited us to their house for dinner. (They did the same for Christmas.) Even though we missed our own families, these dear people made us feel as though we were a part of their family. And we were most grateful for them.

 

In 1971, we spent Thanksgiving by ourselves in Colorado, where we were living at the time. Larry’s job necessitated several moves. But we knew we would be back in California for Christmas, and we were looking forward to it.

 

In 1980, we took a Caribbean cruise over Thanksgiving week. Another friend, Betty, and her son, Bob were with us.

Thanksgiving dinner on the ship was an extravaganza with lots of food. We all dressed up for the occasion.

 

Of course, we spent three Thanksgivings in Japan.

 

The first year, 1998, I tried to make dinner to share with our neighbors, Misayo-san and her daughter, Kazue. It was only a partial success. I wrote about it in our book, 31 Months in Japan: The Building of a Theme Park.

I couldn’t get the ingredients for Auntie Wanda’s Pumpkin Pie, so I settled on a variation of Aunt Muriel’s Pumpkin Chiffon Pie (the same pie I made this year). Both recipes are in the cookbook from Oak Tree Press authors: Recipes by the Book: Oak Tree Authors Cook. (This is the link to the full-color version shown below. It is also available in Kindle and black-and-white interior versions.)

By the following year, I planned well ahead and made Auntie Wanda’s recipe. The same for the next year. I even baked a few for Kazue’s students’ Christmas party. They loved it.

 

Of course, we would rather gather with the whole family to celebrate, but this was another year when we needed to be by ourselves. Fortunately, we still like each other after all these years.

 

How was your Thanksgiving different this year? 

Giving Thanks

 A few years ago, I began a practice of gratitude. I’ve always been aware of my blessings, but this was different. Each day, I looked for something specific to be grateful for. And I have posted this on Facebook each day—with very few exceptions.

After all this time, I can assure you it makes a difference.

Sure, I get frustrated and angry just like everyone else. But by forcing myself to “count my blessings,” as the song says, I am able to find the balance in life. No matter how bleak things look, there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

I believe we humans are stewards of all the earth. What is a steward? According to the dictionary: someone who manages or looks after (another's property). Whose property is the universe? Bottom line, I believe EVERYTHING belongs to God. We are only temporary caretakers.

How does this play out in real life?

In 1984, we purchased a condo in San Juan Capistrano. We used it on the weekends, but for the first year, it sat empty during the week. (After her high school graduation, Kim lived there and attended Saddleback College. We still came down for the weekend.)

One of the first things we did after we moved in was to invite our friends in the area for brunch and a “house blessing.” How did it work? The pastor went from room to room and asked God’s blessing on all those who visited there, slept in the beds, ate at the table, cooked in the kitchen, etc.

It truly became a place of peace and rest for many―including us.

• ·         My mother and her sister and a couple of her friends spent days there enjoying each other’s company and exploring the area.
• ·         A young couple (friends of Kim’s) became pregnant and married suddenly. They had no money for a honeymoon, so we handed them the keys. They spend several days enjoying a real honeymoon they never expected.
• ·         Several friends needed a place to get away, and the condo became their retreat.
• ·         The choir director needed a place to shower and change his clothes after he ran. He lived too far away to go home. We gave him a key.
• ·         Our neighbors in Arcadia had their parents here for a visit. They had never seen the ocean, so, of course, it was on their agenda. We invited them to take the family to the condo. They were able to go to the beach every day. One evening the grandparents babysat, and the parents went to Swallows Inn for dancing. They had a ball!

In 1987 we bought our current house in Dana Point. Of course, we had a house blessing here as well. Our friend, Tony, grew up in Japan. Buddhists believe salt repels evil spirits. The same in the Shinto religion. During their housewarming ritual, salt is usually sprinkled in front of the house to keep evil spirits away. So, Tony spread salt on the threshold and repeated some words of blessing in Japanese.

Then we entered, and the pastor repeated his blessing of every room. Afterward, we enjoyed brunch.

In 2007, we tore out our whole yard and redid it—including adding a waterfall.

Once again, we held a blessing ceremony. The yard is now overgrown, but the sound of the waterfall is still soothing and joyful.

I have always loved the idea of a mezuzah, the Jewish holder for a blessing placed on the doorpost. It serves as a reminder of the blessing of home. I found one with and angel. (My house is filled with them. I have collected them since I was a child.) When we replaced the front doors, I forgot to remove it. But a few years ago, I found another. It is back in its place next to the door.

Once again, as we approach Thanksgiving, I am convinced we should give thanks every day. We have much to be thankful for.

Wishing you and yours a blessed Thanksgiving Day.