Our Children

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

Kahlil Gibran The Prophet

I read this beautiful book many years ago, and its wisdom has remained powerful for me. The section on children is a reminder that our biological children are not extensions of ourselves but a gift we are given and pass on to the world. They are their own separate beings. Our task as parents is to help them become all they can be.

We had only one biological child, our daughter, Kimberly. We are proud of the beautiful human being she has become—perhaps in spite of us.

When she was growing up, we always took another child with us whenever we went somewhere so she would have company. Over the years, some of those were “added” to our family, like Donna, Erin, Savannah, and our godchild, Tracy. We are also close to our nieces and nephews. We would do anything for them.

When we moved to Dana Point nearly 35 years ago, we began to host foreign students in our home for “homestay” programs. They lived with us for between six and twelve weeks. They became our children. Most of them have returned to visit us here in California. Our Spanish daughter was Miss International. She is now an actress. Our six from Japan visited us during the time we lived there. We visited them, too.

Dad, Ikue, Fumiko, Yasuko with Daisuke, Kim, Vera (my mother), Mom, Kae, Yuko

Yasuko had a small child when we arrived. During our time there, she and her husband had a second. These are our only grandchildren. Make no mistake, they are ours.

Through church friends, we learned about Music Mission Kiev (Kyiev). They used to tour the US every other year, and the orchestra and choir members were housed in private homes. We hosted musicians for five of those tours. The last ones were young singers with the opera chorus. We have remained in contact with several of these musicians. When the attacks began on Ukraine, we immediately thought or our friends there. And we began to pray. Our prayers continue.

Last December, good friends in Texas hosted a Ukrainian orphan in their home for several weeks—including through Christmas. While she was there, our friend posted almost daily about the experience. They loved being able to give this precious little girl a real family and a special holiday to remember.

This morning, the “dad” posted this picture along with the final photo taken of him and her before they put her on the plane

“This was the last thing I used the translator for when I was taking our sweet girl to the airport to go back to Ukraine in January. She begged to not go back not even knowing this war was around the corner. Pretty heartbreaking to have a child who calls you dad living in a war zone and there is nothing you can do to change it…”

He gave me permission to use the photo of the two of them, but in order to protect their privacy, I have chosen not to. However, their looks gave little doubt about their mutual love for each other.

These images broke my heart. This little girl is truly their child, just as our “kids” are truly ours.

Our Japanese son arrived yesterday, and we are delighted to have him.

Do you have any children who are not related by blood but who are our hearts’ children?