Fifty-four Years And Still Counting

I have repeated some of what I wrote four years ago on our 50^th anniversary.

On September 4, Larry and I celebrated our 54^th wedding anniversary. It sounds like a long time, even though it seems like yesterday.

Through the years, we’ve been asked how we’ve managed to stay together all these years and still like each other. We usually quote Lorenzo Music. You may remember him as the voice of ‘Carleton, your doorman’ on the Rhoda show or the voice of Garfield, the cat. Years ago, he and his wife were interviewed on a talk show, When they were asked the same question, their answer was, “Low expectations.”

Of course, everyone laughed. But the more we thought about it, the more truth we heard in it. Our expectations often get us in trouble. We set them too high, and then we’re disappointed when they aren’t met. By keeping them lower, we are pleasantly surprised when things work out better than we expected.

Another quote we loved on long marriages came from Robert Mitchum. When asked about his long marriage, he attributed it to “lack of imagination.” We always thought this statement contained an element of truth.

Our low expectations or lack of imagination or the great modeling we had in our families, with many members demonstrating the value of long marriages, may have contributed to our own. Or perhaps we just managed to find the right partner early in life.

We continue to travel and write together. Larry still makes me laugh. So we’ve renewed the contract for another year.

We’re both grateful to have had this time together. I can’t imagine being with anyone else. He’s still a surfer, and sometimes I think of the ocean (and his board) as his mistress. But I knew what I was getting into all those years ago.

And I wouldn’t change a thing!