Saturday, March 8, 2025

My Friend, Luanna Rugh

 


I first met Luanna when she and her family started attending our church in the early ‘80s. She was very shy, and I didn’t get to know her very well at first.

Her husband, Len, was outgoing and friendly, and so was her daughter, Sandra. Lu’s parents also attended the church, and I got to know them, too. Her dad was sweet and quiet—a real gentleman. And her mom was creative. She made beautiful decorations from shells. I have a magnet on my refrigerator she made as well as an ornament on my Christmas tree.

Len was severely wounded in Vietnam, but I learned quickly enough not to call him “handicapped”! Even though he was missing a large part of his brain and was completely paralyzed on his left side, he believed he could do anything. And the longer I was around him, the more I believed it, too.

After a while, we got to know both of them better. I discovered that Lu had a wicked sense of humor. She might have been shy, but when she opened up, her true personality came forth—sometimes with a vengeance. It took several years, however, before she became comfortable enough around me to let it show. I discovered we both loved irreverence, and she always made me laugh.

From the time Len was wounded in 1969, her goal in life became to encourage him to be everything he could be. He was labeled “unretrainable.” She talked him into attending Saddleback College. He eventually graduated from Cal State Fullerton with a degree in Political Science, even though everyone said it was impossible.



Lu and Len loved to travel. After Sandra left home, they bought a 5th wheel and drove all over the US—including Alaska. Lu did all the driving. They spent time in Hawaii, too, which they both loved. They often stayed in the military hotel in Honolulu and bought timeshares on Maui, which they shared with Sandra and her husband, Steve.

While attending Saddleback, Len began to write a book about his experience in Vietnam. He worked on it for twenty years before he felt it was completed. By this time, Larry and I had joined the same critique group he belonged to (Lagunita Writers). One of our members told Len the book wasn’t finished yet. He’d written all about his experiences in Vietnam, but he hadn’t explained how he had been able to learn to walk and talk and do all the amazing things he’d accomplished. So, after twenty years of working by himself, he invited Lu to help him tell the second part of his story.

When they finally finished, the book was over 1300 pages! His good friend, Larry, told him, “Len, you’ve written the complete book for your family, but now you have to cut it down enough so it will sell.”

Len understood. So, for the next two years, we met with them every Wednesday night, usually at our house. One of us took care of dinner, and then we spent a couple of hours working at the computer cutting the size of the book. We went through it three times, line-by-line, word-by-word, until it was at its final length of 440 pages.

It was published in 2009 as Promises Kept; How One Couple’s Love Survived Vietnam.

Although Lu had written half of the second part of the book, she still told everyone, “I was a biology major. I’m not a writer.” Promises Kept won the 2010 EPIC Award for Nonfiction. It has become hugely popular with veterans’ groups.


While they were working on their book, I started a project with three other friends. It was an anthology about four sisters with a common through-story. However, one of the participants had to drop out because of health issues. We could have made it about three sisters, but the overall outline was for four.

I mentioned it at one of our weekly meetings. The following week, we went down to see Lu and Len at Camp Pendleton where they were spending a week camping. She asked me about the project, and I explained it to her. She asked if she could take part. By the time we left that day, she had outlined her character and the story she wanted to tell.

She was the first one finished with her novella! And hers became my favorite story in the book. Snowflake Secrets was published in 2008, before Len & Lu’s book. From then on, I told her she could no longer say she wasn’t a writer!



This was the first of six anthologies, all set in our fictional town of Aspen Grove Colorado, and Luanna was part of all of them. Seasons of Love came next, followed by Directions of Love, An Aspen Grove Christmas, The Art of Love and …And a Silver Sixpence in Her Shoe. Snowflake Secrets was a 2009 finalist for the Edward Hoffer Award, finalist for the 2008 Dream Realm Award, and a 2009 EPPIE award. Directions of Love won the 2011 EPIC ebook Award for best anthology.

  


 

 


 

I must have finally convinced her that she WAS a writer because she eventually published two more stand-alone novels: Love From the Sea was published in 2016, and Up in Flames published in 2020.

     

 


One thing we shared  in common was a love for everything Disney. We had annual passes, and they got military passes each year. We went with them often. Each time we passed the wheelchair rental, we’d suggest Len rent one.  “Heck no. Those are for people who need them.” Despite his total paralysis, he had learned to walk with a full leg brace (hip to ankle) on his left leg. His left hand was in a sling. He balanced by carrying a cane in his right hand. He’d learned to swing the brace while balancing on his good leg. He couldn’t drive, but he took the bus everywhere. Most of the drivers in Orange County knew him. When we were eating with them in a restaurant, someone would approach and greet him—often a bus driver.

He took part in classes to train physical therapists on how to work with people with his level of paralysis. He called them his “physical torture” classes. But he was proud to have been able to help train others to help people like himself.

He also took part in The Vietnam Head Injury Study. Every few years, he flew back to Washington D.C. for a week of tests and interviews. In later years, Lu went with him. They never could explain how he was able to accomplish so much with as severe an injury as he had sustained. Of course, the real secret was Lu. She knew when to push and when to step back. He never wanted sympathy or help when he didn’t need it, and those of us who spent time with him learned this quickly.

For years, the four of us ate brunch together after church on Sundays. During his last couple of years, Len was in and out of the hospital and rehab. Covid made everything much worse as he was often in quarantine. Lu was at loose ends without him to care for.

He was moved to a nursing home at some distance from their home, and she drove to see him several times a week. After Len died in 2022, Luanna lost much of her interest in life, and we saw her fading. Her memory began to fail, and her zest for life ebbed.

Finally, Sandra moved her into a lovely assisted living facility. She did better there, but she eventually started falling and forgot to take her medications. After yet another stay in the hospital, she was in terrible shape. Once again, Covid quarantines kept us from visiting. When we finally saw her, I was shocked. She could barely communicate, and she looked terrible. I called Sandra about our concerns. She said she couldn’t get any information from the facility and was very frustrated since she lived in Minnesota and Lu was in California.

Shortly thereafter, she moved Lu back to a facility a few minutes from her home. I couldn’t believe the change the next time I spoke with Lu. She was back to her old self! The caregivers at her new place monitored her medications and kept a close eye on her. And she flourished.

She made friends, played Bingo, watched movies, and cheered for the Vikings.

She was terrific for nearly a year. But then, she developed a UTI and was hospitalized. When she finally was well enough to return to her facility, her mental state had reverted to where it was when she left California. And she refused to eat. Being a type-2 diabetic, this contributed greatly to her downhill slide. She was put on hospice for a few days and just seemed to fade away.

I am convinced she is now with her beloved Len, where she has longed to be ever since he died. And I’m sure she is making jokes and laughing. At least, that is how I will remember her.



10 comments:

  1. My condolences for your loss. Remarkable story about Len. Jim

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  2. A Beautiful tribute and memories shared. Thank you.

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  3. What a wonderful way to pay tribute to your good friends. I was privileged to have met them both.

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  4. Excellent tribute. It's hard to lose a close friend.

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  5. Thank you for sharing this amazing story of courage and love..

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