Guest Blogger Shirley Skufca Hickman

This week, my guest is Shirley Skufca Hickman. I have been blessed to have edited several of her books and have enjoyed them very much. Welcome, Shirley.

I love books. When I was seven and living in a Colorado coal mining town during World War II, I told myself I had to remember what I was experiencing so I could write a book about it when I was older.

I kept my promise, and as an adult, I wrote my first memoir, Don’t Be Give Up, about the war from a perspective of a child.

Everything in our lives was affected by the war, the rationing of food, clothing, shoes, gasoline, and candy, but the most terrifying days were seeing my uncles go to war and not knowing if they’d ever return. Luckily, they did.

One of the most gratifying aspects of writing this book was long conversations with my uncles. I never knew my Uncle Johnny had seen horrors of the Jewish concentration camps. He had never told anyone until we talked about the war. He wanted me to include his experiences so people would never forget the Holocaust.

When I asked my Uncle Rupert if he went to squadron reunions he said no. I asked him why and he said, “Because most of them never came back.” He had never talked about this until our conversation.

My uncles are gone now, and so are my parents, and my sisters, but all of them live forever in the pages of my books. We are a family once again, arguing, laughing, and fiercely loving one another.

Shirley Skufca Hickman grew up in a Colorado coal mining town, during World War II. As an adult, she wrote about the war from a child’s point of view in Don’t Be Give Up.

In 1947, the mine closed, forcing the family to move. Living in three rooms and sleeping in the kitchen with her two older sisters, she wondered if they’d ever have a real home again. Whenever her father made life better for the family, he’d ask: Is Everybody Happy Now? This became the title of her next memoir.

She enjoyed her high school years until her father’s death devastated the family. Without his love and financial support, they might have lost their home. Family is Forever is about their love for one another and how they coped.

Shirley graduated from college and became a teacher. She wrote Fall in Love with An Orange Tree or a Book about a teenager who lived in the shadows because she was in the U.S. illegally.

When parents asked her to recommend a book to help their children, she wrote: School Success: Five Hundred Ways Busy Parents Can Help their Children in School.

She wrote Sarah Darlin’, a romance novel set in San Francisco during the Gold Rush. Before Sarah and her lover could be together, they must deal with prejudice, a fire, and a terrible secret from Sarah’s past.

Her latest memoir is about her journey to marriage, Rocky Road is More Than a Candy Bar.

Her books are available on Amazon.

Her greatest joys are her son, his wife, and their two boys.

OOPS – Part VI – Final Installment

Continued from last week

Monday, March 2, 2020

We arrived at South County Orthopedic Center at 9:45 as directed. I checked in and completed all the paperwork. Then we waited for a while until my name was called. I was told to go into the restroom and change into a gown. They gave me a large plastic bag for my clothes. Getting out of my clothes without help was a bit of a challenge.

Larry waited outside. I handed him the bag and then exited through the door on the opposite side. A nurse met me and took me to a bed. She asked if I wanted Larry to join me.

Yes!

He arrived a few moments later.

Strangely, I had absolutely no qualms about the surgery. I knew Dr. Moskow and trusted him completely.

The nurse tried to remove my wedding rings. I haven’t had them off since I had them repaired in 2001! She tried lubricant and pulled hard, but I knew they wouldn’t go over my joint. Sure enough…

So, she put tape over them.

Then another nurse got me ready. She put the IV into my left hand.

Then the anesthesiologist arrived. He told me he was going to numb the nerve to my hand by going in below my collar bone.

What?

I turned to Larry. “Okay, now I’m starting to be afraid.”

The explanation was it would reduce the amount of painkiller required. My hand would remain numb for around twelve hours, reducing the need for other medication. He also explained I would not be knocked out, but I would not remember anything—just what I wanted to hear.

He started the meds, and I was out…

~~~

As I began to wake up, I remember being aware of lots of pain—not the pain itself but of crying out. The nurse injected three or four doses of Percocet into the IV. I finally started to relax.

I was aware of Larry being there. This helped a lot.

It didn’t take too long before I felt less fuzzy-headed. Soon the nurse and Larry got me dressed.

Once I was fairly clear-headed, the nurse, Heather, explained what had been done and showed me the x-rays. She gave them to Larry.

She gave Larry a prescription and told him to get it filled. I told her I didn’t want to take the opioids. She told me to go home and eat something because she didn’t want me to take anything on an empty stomach. Just as the doctor in the ER had said, “Take one after you eat and a second before you go to bed. You need to stay ahead of the pain.”

Then she went over what I needed to do when I got home and afterward. I now sported a small splint similar to the one I’d worn in, but this one was generic vanilla and not the stylish black and pink one I’d had before.

She helped me into a wheelchair. Larry pulled the car to the front entrance, and he helped me in. We came home and ate lunch. Larry filled the prescription. I wasn’t in pain, but I took one pill as directed. I rested all afternoon. Before bed, I took another, even though I still had no pain.

I never took another one, and I never had any pain after that! A true miracle!

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

We called and made the follow-up appointment for the following Monday.

Thursday, March 5, 2020

I called Victoria at Natural Nail Care and told her my fingernails had been shredded when I fell. They desperately needed attention. Also, it had been quite a while since I’d been in for a pedicure. Larry’s toenails were like claws once again, and his fingernails were a mess. I had several gift certificates, so she agreed to let us come in for his-and-hers mani-pedis. What joy! This is one of my favorite places in San Juan, and we both enjoyed seeing Victoria. My nails looked and felt much better. Larry even enjoyed being pampered, and I appreciated the way his nails looked and felt.

Friday, March 6, 2020

We went to Flick Fellowship at Community Presbyterian Church, where we discussed the film The Farewell and enjoyed a potluck supper.

Monday, March 9, 2020

We went to Dr. Moskow’s office in the afternoon. When they removed the splint and uncovered my arm, I was surprised. So was the nurse. “Wow. There is no oozing, no blood. The incision is closed. You heal really fast. We’ll take out the stitches today.”

Hooray!

The stitches were removed. Steri-strips were put on. No splint! The best news was I could now take a shower! Yay! They gave me a brace. It covered my thumb and went about two-thirds of the way to the elbow. What an improvement over the splints!

When we got home, our friends Scarlett and Steve arrived. Their visit had been planned long before. We adore them and always enjoy being with them. This visit was no different.

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

We decided to go to Mollie’s Café in San Juan for breakfast. Yumm! Scarlett took this photo. Note the brace and lack of sling. Note my smile. Yep, we were having fun!

They had to leave to visit her brother. We’d sure have loved to have had more time with them.

Originally, we were supposed to leave the next day for San Diego to attend the Left Coast Crime Conference. However, after my accident, we decided it might not be a great idea to try to do everything while in a hotel. (At the time, it took over half an hour for me to get a shower and dress. It didn’t make sense to try to manage at the conference and still get to our sessions, so we cancelled.) The conference started as scheduled, but the next day, the hotel cancelled, and everyone had to leave. When we heard this, we didn’t feel as bad about missing it.

In the afternoon, I taught my Stephen Ministry class at Geneva Presbyterian. It felt like things were getting back to normal.

Friday, March 13, 2020

I had my first physical therapy session. By now, people were beginning to stay apart. I went home with some exercises to do.

Since then, my hand has been getting stronger and more flexible. Every day, it feels more like normal. Still a long way to go, but making progress.

We're staying home as much as possible and enjoying a quiet time together.

Thanks to everyone who prayed for my healing, called to check on me, and sent good wishes. I have missed seeing friends, but I call and communicate by email and on Facebook.

This has been a good time to stay at home and rest and recover. It’s getting better all the time.

OOPS – Part V

Continued from last week

When we arrived home from the airport on Monday after dropping off our guests, we took a nap. It had been an exhausting but fun weekend!

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Time to call the orthopedic surgeon. At the ER, they gave us the name of one, but he was over an hour away. Googled for a closer one and found the South County Orthopedic Specialists (SCOS) on El Toro in Laguna Hills. Definitely a better choice!

I called and made an appointment with one of their hand specialists. (There are two). The first appointment they had was late in the afternoon on Thursday.

Wednesday, February 27, 2020

We had to pick up a copy of the CD of my x-rays from Mission Hospital before my appointment with the surgeon. I had to do this once before. That time, I called Radiology, and they had the CD ready when we arrived. Not so this time.

We had to go in person up to Radiology with all the paperwork from the ER. Then they had to confirm my identity. Then—finally—they requested the CD. And, we waited. And waited…

Finally, they called my name and gave me the disc. Just another annoyance…

Thursday, February 27,2020

Checked in for my appointment. I was surprised when they had all of my information already. I asked which doctor I would be seeing. I had thought the name Dr. Moskow sounded familiar. The receptionist confirmed he would be my surgeon. Then I remembered he had done minor surgery to remove a cyst under the nail bed on one of my fingers several years earlier. I remembered him, and I liked him!

I got into his examination room (with several exam tables). We had brought the CD of the x-rays, and they copied it into their electronic files. (This place is VERY efficient!)

A nurse removed the heavy, bulky, splint. Thank goodness! Underneath, my skin was all covered in little red bumps, and it itched—badly!

He looked it over. “What did they put under the splint?”

“Nothing.”

He looked surprised and shook his head.

“Do you have something for the itching?”

He brought some gauze soaked with iodine and bathed the inside of my arm.

The doctor checked the x-rays. “The good news is the break is below the joint. This is a much easier situation to deal with.”

Thank GOD!

“You have two choices. You can let it heal as is with the bone out of alignment, but you may have limited movement.”

I don’t think so. I told him I needed to be able to fully use the hand. My work depended on it.

“The second choice is to do surgery and insert a plate and screws. The healing time will be shorter, and you should have good motion afterward.”

No contest! Surgery it was.

I complained about the dumb sling. “It is made out of slick nylon, and no matter how tight we get it, my arm keeps slipping out, defeating the whole purpose.”

“Then don’t use it. Just try to keep the arm upright with your hand above your heart.”

HOORAY!

I started to use the Napoleon technique. I zipped my jacket about ¾ of the way. Then, I slipped my arm inside. This kept it at the right angle, and was MUCH more comfortable than the dang sling.

When I told the nurse how uncomfortable the darn thing was, he pointed out a loop. “This is for you to slip your thumb through.

Really? I pointed to my thumb, which still looked like a bloated boiled sausage and was beginning to bruise. “Uh, I don’t think so.”

He nodded.

He replaced the huge “sugar tong” splint with a much smaller one. This one went from my fingers halfway to my elbow. First, though, he put a black knit “sleeve” on the arm. Then the splint. Then he wrapped it in sticky bandaging—pink! I loved it! Pink and black was a popular color combination in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s. This was much smaller and lighter.

While we waited to see his PA to schedule the surgery, we went back out into the waiting area. Larry went to the desk to pick up the x-ray CD. So, I sat down next to a young lady. She looked very distressed.

She told me she had a toddler at home, and her hand had been going numb. She’d already had a couple of surgeries, and nothing had helped, so she was very worried. She asked about my arm and asked who my doctor was.

“Dr. Moskow."

“He’s the one I’m going to see.”

“You will love him. He did minor surgery on my finger a few years ago. “ I showed her the scar. “I absolutely love him, and I trust him completely.”

I watched as she relaxed a bit.

Larry returned and we went back in to meet with the PA.

Surgery was scheduled for the following Monday. Before then, I’d need blood work and chest x-ray.

As we came out and headed for the elevator, we ran into the same young woman I had been talking to earlier. She was leaving the exam room from the other side. She smiled—a whole different person. “Thank you so much. You’re right. I like him very much, and I feel better about my surgery.” She went on to the reception area, and we got on the elevator.

“Okay, now I know why I was supposed to be here today.” I love those occasions when God affirms my purpose.

We went to my primary care doctor’s office with the orders for the blood work and x-ray.

The on-call physician took the blood samples, but the x-ray facility was already closed for the day. (It was after five.)

So, we went home.

Friday, February 28,2020

We spent quite a bit of time trying to get the x-ray. Lots of running around… Finally got it done.

Saturday, February 29, 2020

Had an urgent call from the surgery center asking if I had gotten he blood work done. Yes, I had. They hadn’t received the report. I gave them the contact information for the lab. SIGH!

Sunday, March 1, 2020

My Christmas gift from Larry was tickets to see The Book of Mormon at the Ahmanson in downtown L.A.. I had no intention of missing it!

Larry helped set up for the coffee hour between services. (I was useless in this department!) Then we attended church. We left immediately to get to L.A.

We made exceptional time, even though it was drizzling.

I hadn’t eaten anything, so we decided to go to go to Abernethy’s, since we were able to be seated. Nothing on the menu was much to my taste. Larry decided to get the burger. So did I. We sat next to another couple and had a delightful conversation with them.

The play was audacious and rude and very funny. (I adore irreverence, and this was right up my alley!) It was written by the writers of South Park and had the same sense of humor.

Afterward, we went to see our goddaughter’s new apartment in Pasadena. (We had made arrangements before we went.)

As we drove there, I was reminded of how much I love the old town. Charming.

We were delighted to find her parents there already. She has a really charming place. Of course, we expected no less since she has always had terrific taste!

We decided to walk the two blocks to Green Street to Green Street Restaurant for dinner. (Keep in mind, my ankle was still wrapped in an Ace bandage. On Monday, the entire sole and heel were solid navy blue!) Still, taking a walk felt good. We took our umbrellas since it had been drizzling off and on.

Our friend from grammar school owns the restaurant, and it is a Pasadena favorite. The food was excellent! He wasn’t there, but we left our business card with a note for him. He emailed the following day. (We are also friends on Facebook.)

After dinner, we went back to the apartment for a short time. We live at quite a distance, so we don’t get to see these friends often. I had missed them!

With surgery scheduled for the next day, we left to get home and get ready for the big day!

OOPS - Part IV

Continued from last week

We arrived back home from the hospital around four o’clock.

Larry came around the van to help me out. As I put my foot down, I realized that the boot had a plastic bottom—and it was new and slick. It felt as though it was going to slide out from under me. I was glad Larry had my good arm to keep me balanced. In addition, the sole was about an inch or more higher than my other shoe, making me off-balance to start with. And the bottom wasn’t flat. It was curved! It didn’t give me great confidence, to say the least! Plus, it was heavy. I loathed it!

The others had returned from their trip. Before we left, I had told them all the food in the house was up for grabs, so they had made themselves some toast to tide them over until dinner. They had also discovered a DVD I had put out to lend to a friend at church and were watching it.

I said hello, and then Larry helped me up the stairs.

The first order of business was to cut off the rest of the sleeve of my shirt. I would wear a jacket, so no one would know I only had one sleeve. (Larry would have to cut me out of the rest of the shirt when we got home. Fortunately, I had bought it through Amazon, so I was able to replace it.)

Then I tried to clean up my face and cover the abrasions with a little makeup. It looked a bit better—not quite so scary. (A few days later, the entire socket around my right eye was a vivid shade of magenta. I knew from the start I’d have quite a shiner! We didn’t get any photos of it at its worst.)

I brushed my hair as best I could with only one hand—and my left one at that.

We went downstairs to join the others. Of course, they wanted a complete update on what had transpired, and we wanted to hear about their trip.

They had seen a few whales, but only tails and backs. None breached while they were out. And they spotted lots of dolphins. I was very glad we had gotten them back on time so they hadn’t missed their trip.

Larry had my prescription to fill, so he left for Costco. Linda decided to join him. He returned with the magic pain pills, and Linda got a large bag of popcorn (Boom Chicka Pop).

We gathered ourselves together and set out for the Harbor Grill. Having not eaten all day, dinner sure tasted good! I think all of us enjoyed our meal.

When we returned home, we finished watching the video they had started earlier (the American version of Shall We Dance. I prefer the Japanese version and had loaned it to my friend a couple of weeks earlier. She wanted to see the American one, so I had set it out to take to church for her.)

By this time, I was getting weary, so I went upstairs and got ready for bed. Of course, I was completely helpless… Thank God for Larry. He began to call himself my NIT (nurse-in-training).

At the hospital, the doctor had advised me to take one of the pain pills at bedtime to stay ahead of the pain. So, I did and slept well.

Sunday, February 23, 2020

We had made arrangements to go to church with Dave’s niece, Rachel, and her family in Aliso Viejo, so we got up early. It required a LOT of extra time to get ready!

Larry used a garbage bag to cover my arm so I could take a shower. He then wrapped the excess around and used packing tape to hold it in place. Quite a challenge.

I decided to wash my hair, but it didn’t go well. I got shampoo—the dandruff stuff—in my eye. It burned! I yelled for Larry to get me some eye drops. He was frozen in place and didn’t seem to understand what I needed. He finally got the message and handed me the drops. They soothed my eye, but my attempt at a shampoo didn’t go too well.

The shower was less than optimal, but I felt better after getting clean.

Then came the challenge of wrapping my head in a towel, removing the bag on my arm (and dripping all over the floor while trying to get it into the trash can) and getting my body dry. Between us, we managed the operation.

Larry was recruited to dry my hair since I only had one hand—my left one. He did pretty well for being the first time. I decided not to try to curl it. (I would rethink this a couple of days later when I couldn’t stand it anymore.)

Next came the challenge of dressing. Together we decided a tank top would be easier to get over the huge splint. I could put a stretchy jacket over it, and I would look somewhat normal.

The bra was the first challenge. I couldn’t help much, but somehow, we got it on. My underpants were also a challenge because of my swollen ankle, but we managed. My pants weren’t too hard, once we figured out a strategy.

Then, came the brace for my ankle.

I lay down so Larry could position it. He was the only one who had watched the doctor put it on the first time, but he couldn’t figure out how to hook all the straps. Since I hated the thing anyway, I decided not to use it. (Had my ankle been broken, I wouldn’t have had a choice.)

I have very few memories of my dad, who died when I was seven. One of them is of him sitting on the floor wrapping my ankle. I had LOTS of sprains when I was a kid. Dad always wrapped them with an Ace bandage.

We had Ace bandages…

So, Larry wrapped the ankle. I had a pair of sandals from Hawaii. They had Velcro straps over the instep to hold them in place. When I stood up, my foot felt MUCH better. The sole of the sandal was about the same height as my other shoe. I felt more balanced.

We ate breakfast and then went to church. We stayed for the group discussions afterward. Rachel had asked all of us for lunch, so we went to their house. What a lovely family! We had a great time and enjoyed all of them. We ate on their patio, and the day was beautiful.

When we got home, we changed clothes. One of Dave’s requests was to see the mission. He had read our book, The Memory Keeper, and wanted to see Mission San Juan Capistrano for himself. So, we went.

I walked everywhere except down to the vats and garden because of all the uneven stairs. I waited while they explored there, then we covered all the rest of the buildings and gardens. My ankle held up well.

By this time, we were hungry, so we went to Ruby’s for burgers.

We returned home and decided to watch another movie. Bob suggested Ford Versus Ferrari, so we found it on Netflix. We enjoyed it very much. Linda broke out her popcorn, and we had a great time.

I had little pain all day, and have never taken another happy pill.

Monday, February 24, 2020

We had a leisurely breakfast and then drove our guests down to San Diego to catch their return flight to Canada.

As they left, they told me they were so sorry about my injuries. I thanked them for coming since they had taken my mind off everything else, and I enjoyed them very much.

On the way home, I told Larry I was sorry to have scared him. I realized he was more in shock than I was for the first few days. I have always said in an emergency, he was the person I wanted to be with. He’s always been cool and logical. Except, this happened to me. By the second day, he stepped into the support role in the way I had expected him to.

Believe me, I was truly grateful for his help!

More next week.