Last week, I shared one idea about how Larry and I have
managed to remain happily married for fifty-plus years. Here’s another.
2. Meaningful Rituals
On our wedding night, Larry told me a story about his
grandparents. They were married for sixty-three years before his grandfather’s
death. (This photo was taken of his grandparents and their six children at
their fiftieth anniversary celebration.)
After his grandfather died, Larry asked his grandmother what
she missed most.
“We always kissed goodnight and said we loved each other. Now
that he’s gone, I’ve had a hard time getting to sleep without our goodnight
kiss.”
Larry told me, “I’d like to start doing the same thing in
our marriage.” For over fifty years, we have done the same except when we’re
apart.
Early in our marriage, Larry traveled quite a bit for work.
He often ate yogurt for dinner and used his food allowance to call home so we
could say goodnight and “I love you.”
In 1977, he spent several months working in Alaska. One
night he didn’t call, and I couldn’t sleep. I needed to hear his voice, so I
finally phoned his hotel in Alaska and received a message that the trunk lines
were down.
Even though it was late, the phone rang about half an hour
later. Larry couldn’t sleep either. After we said we loved each other, we were
finally able to fall asleep.
We also kiss, hug, and say we love each other when we awake
in the morning and whenever we part. As soon as we arrived home from work, we
located each other for a hug and kiss.
Meaningless rituals don’t serve much purpose. However, one
morning, we discovered how important ours were. Larry went downstairs in the
morning. I heard the garage door open. Then the car started, pulled out, and
the door closed. He hadn’t come back upstairs to say goodbye. I felt as though
something important was missing from my day. And I felt sad.
A few minutes later, the phone rang. Larry said, “I was
almost at the freeway when I realized we hadn’t said good-bye. I felt terrible.”
We both laughed, and then said we loved each other. I felt
much better, and I know Larry did, too.
Do you have any rituals you observe in your relationships?
Congratulations on 50 years of a great marriage. Sound like you worked at it, and it paid off.
ReplyDeleteWe had great modeling in Larry's family. His grandparents' 50th (photo above) made the papers circa 1958. They made 63 years, and his parents made 67. We still have a long way to go to catch up!
DeleteYou are a great and most romantic couple. Good advice!
ReplyDeleteSo are you and Hap. More great role models. Love you both.
DeleteNot to one-up you, but Bill and I have been married fifty-TWO years. We practice the same rituals you all have. Another thing we do is always ask a blessing before meals. It's sort of an informal acknowledgment of God participating in our lives together.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to you! Another lovely tradition.
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