Give Thanks

Thanksgiving Day is the one time in the year set aside to remember all the blessings in our lives. But why limit it to one day? I'm grateful every day, and my list of blessings is a long one.

FAMILY

I have an amazing family—the one into which I was born, the one into which I married, and the one I've created over the years.

I am especially thankful this year that my mother's sister, Aunt Evelyn, is still with us after a stroke last year. She is one of my favorite playmates and has always been my role model. I learned to love travel, musical theater, entertaining, and discovering new places and people from her.

I am also grateful for the cousins I'd lost for most of my life and reconnected with last year. They are even more precious since all our parents are now gone.

My husband came with a large and loving family of his own. His grandparents set the example, and his parents' generation continued it. There never were any strangers or in-laws. Everyone has always been included and loved. His parents were truly my parents, and I adore his brother as much as if he had been mine from birth. My sister-in-love is the sister I'd have chosen if I could have, and I am so proud of my niece and nephew and their families.

I am very grateful that my brother and I have finally grown into a closer relationship after being a bit distant most of our lives.

Family is not just an accident of birth. We have acquired quite a number of children both here and around the world. Our Japanese and Spanish kids are a special joy in our lives.

And I am especially grateful for Larry and Kim—my greatest joys. They have made my life worthwhile.

FRIENDS

I have over one-thousand names on my email list. And they are ALL friends! I have managed to stay in touch with many of the people who grew up in my neighborhood, those I went to high school with, some from every job I've ever held, as well as many writers and others in the publishing industry. I've learned so much from them and cherish them all.

My church family has been my support and safety net for many years. They remind me where my center is, where my faith is focused, where my priorities are.

The people in my writing group have been a real treasure. We'd never have been published if it hadn't been for them. We've lost the lady who hosted our group for many, many years. But we have been so blessed to have had her in our lives for so long.

We've lost many family members and friends over the past couple of years, and each loss serves to remind us of the love we shared.

HOME

We have a home we never could have imagined owning when we were first married. And we live in one of the most beautiful places on the California coast. Whenever we go down to the beach, I am reminded that we are privileged to live here.

We also have the greatest neighbors on the planet. We know nearly everyone, and we all watch out for each other.

Because we have been so blessed, we love sharing our home with guests. Spending time with old and new friends is a great gift to us.

WORK

Even though we are retired from our full-time jobs, we continue to write books we enjoy. I am still editing and doing book reviews. We also enjoy traveling, often to do research for our books. We attend conferences and meet new people and learn new things.

So this year, as we celebrate the day dedicated to counting our blessings, we will consider just how truly blessed our lives are and give thanks.

What Color Am I?

For years it's bugged me when I’m required to choose the color of my ethnicity. I usually end up checking “White,” but it’s never a happy – or accurate – answer.

Few people have paler, more tan-resistant skin than I. And it's true that I’m descended from European stock – Scottish (my grandmother would have said, “Scotch”), Irish, English, and Danish. Although a cousin, who has done more research than I, says we are direct descendants of the Emperor Hadrian. She’s seen the proof; I haven’t. But my mother may be a throwback with her olive skin and dark, dark eyes. There’s nothing at all Scottish about her appearance! And she always told me, “You must have some Italian in you, since you wouldn’t be able to talk if you couldn’t use your hands.” Ends up, I might, and it’s from her dad’s side of the family!

Still, I'm all European, as far as we know.

I understand the government uses this information for statistical purposes and it’s probably necessary, but I still resent that we continue to ask this question which puts people in categories.

Why, for instance, isn’t there a “Mixed” category? I know lots of people who don’t fall neatly into any group.

What about my friend’s beautiful son and daughter? Their dad would be classified as “White” and their mother as “Asian.” What does that make them?

Or what about another friend who is herself 100% Japanese, and whose husband is mostly Japanese except for the Portuguese trader ancestor several generations back? His last name is Latin, but he's predominantly of Japanese heritage. What category does he fall into? How about his children?

What about the children of other friends whose mother is Vietnamese and whose father is European? And what about those whose ancestors came from South Africa? Does that make them “African” or “Black”?

What about some Americans, like Oprah Winfrey, Colin Powell, or the president? Why must they classify themselves as “Black,” when they are clearly of mixed racial heritage? Very few Americans with ancestors from Africa have inherited DNA exclusively from that source.

Besides, I have known few “Black” people whose skin could accurately be described as that color. My friends, who have ancestors originally from Africa, range in color from light beige to deep coffee.

While I am pale, my skin is light pinkish beige, not white.

My friend, Pat, actually came up with the perfect solution. Instead of the usual classifications, she suggested we could all use “Blue”. It’s the color of the blood that runs through everyone's veins. That’s a commonality which better defines who we really are.

Despite some very small differences, all human beings share about 99% of our DNA. We are more alike than different. I stopped pigeonholing people, particularly my friends, (if I ever did) a long, long time ago.

People are people, are people. Not black, or white, or brown, or yellow, or any other color we might want to use to separate them.

So the next time I’m asked to choose a label, I just might check “Other” and write in “Blue”. What do you think?