ASHES TO ASHES

 In his will, my brother, Ron Lund, had insisted on no memorial service. He wanted to be cremated, and he wanted his ashes to be spread off Newport Beach. Because he died at the end of August of 2020, it really wasn’t possible to do much at that time.

Of course, we had his body cremated as he had requested. We brought the ashes home, and they resided here for months.

Even though he was quite specific about having no service, I felt he might like the idea of a get-together for family members and friends to share their favorite stories about him. (Most of them had a few.)

Early on, I looked toward his birthday on May 29 for a luncheon at our house. Fortunately, restrictions were being lifted by the end of April, so an outdoor get-together seemed possible.

Our daughter came from Texas for the first time in a year and a half. The day after she arrived, we took Ron’s ashes out on a boat, along with a few of his closest friends.

Once we cleared the harbor, the weather wasn’t cooperative, and the surf was rough. The captain said we could only go out only a short way beyond the harbor entrance. So Larry read a poem from his book, Lakeview Park:

Bury me not near the old oak tree,

In a prison tomb, dirt over me.

But leave my spirit to swim free,

And cast my ashes out to sea.

To rise like mist in the morning sun

And ride the swells till the day is done.

Somehow, this seemed appropriate for Ron. Then he sprinkled the ashes, and we tossed blue daisies on the water.

Afterward, we all went to the Harbor Grill for dinner.

L-R: Bernie & Bob Schwenck, Casey Collins, Jim Cocores, Bud Legg, Robert Legg, Larry & Lorna Collins,
Kimberly Romero, Maribeth Seale

Then on the 29^th, as planned, we had the luncheon at our house. We certainly enjoyed seeing everyone, and they shared some wonderful memories. We laughed and cried a little and talked about Ron. We also had copies of Dominic Drive for everyone.

Kim, me, and Lucy Collins

Childhood friends: Sherry Van Clief Cowell, me, Jim Welsh, John Anderson.

Stephany Sherlock and me

Some of Ron’s friends couldn’t make it, but several came from a long distance just to share their reminiscences. I appreciated their effort.

I had felt badly that we couldn’t spread his ashes off Newport Beach as he had requested, but his best friend, Bud Legg, sent me this note:

I think Ron would have been pleased. Whenever Ron and I would be over that way, we always drove over by Doheny. It was a favorite spot where we would sit and lie to each other about the "perfect" ride we caught there. We had a million true stories about the fun we had. He is happy about where you placed him. I'm happy because he will always be there, it will always be 1965, and we will always have our stories. Will, I'm off to work on the ‘46 woodie. I think I'll take him with me and listen to him bitch about the work you're doing.

I loved this. It made me laugh, and I felt good about where Ron had ended up.
We also reserved some of his ashes.

One part went with his friend, Chris. Ron left his chrome-plated Schwinn Paramount bike to Chris with the agreement that he would ride it down the beach at Newport and spread a few ashes in the sand.

Another part went with us to Forest Lawn. We had spread some of my mother’s ashes over my dad’s grave with Ron. So, we added some of his. Now he is there together with our parents.

Finally, my brother-in-love suggested we take some up to Granada Park in Alhambra and spread them there. We have yet to do this, so one small container awaits disposition.

I decided years ago that I loved the idea of cremation. It brought back the image of “ashes to ashes, dust to dust.” When our time comes, we have requested the same disposition.

What is your preference?