Learning to Let Go
As I get older, I am more and more conscious of the “stuff”
we’ve accumulated over the last fifty-five years we’ve been married. We’ve
lived in this house for thirty-three-plus years. It’s a big house with lots of
storage and a three-car garage. But someday, we may want to downsize. What will
we do with everything?
Every time I get serious about purging, however, we seem to
acquire more.
My brother’s recent death added a few more items. I have
made a concerted effort to give away most of his things to people who will
appreciate it.
I have kept a few family items, and they have been added to
our stash.
The main item I kept was this tapestry.
When we unearthed it at his place, it was so embedded with
dust I wasn’t sure it could be salvaged. However, Larry brushed it off and then
vacuumed it. We hung it out for several weeks, and it now looks like the piece
I remember as a child. When I look at it, it makes me smile.
We talked to the mission about donating it to them. However,
they already have a similar one and didn’t need another.
We’ve decided to keep it. It may become the cover image for
our third San Juan historical. (We first have to finish the second one and then
write the third.)
It took moving things around so we had enough room for it on
our walls, but I’m glad we decided to keep it.
We also brought home the oil painting which had belonged to
my mother. When Larry brought it out, it had a thick layer of dust and dirt. We
couldn’t even make out the details.
Again, Larry brushed it off and vacuumed it. It still looked
pretty terrible. Fortunately, our friend, Bob Schwenck, is a restoration
specialist. He took the painting, cleaned it, and re-varnished it. The colors
are back, and it looks the way I remember it.
Bob wanted me to keep it, but if I’d wanted it, I would have
kept it when my mother moved in with us. My brother had it because I didn’t
want it. This was easy to let go of. We will auction it and share the net
profit with Bob.
So, we now have more “stuff” in our house. SIGH.
This year, I have lost many friends as well as my brother. I
have become uncomfortably aware of my own mortality. Having had to empty my
brother’s home, I am hyper aware of everything we have accumulated and how that
burden will fall on our daughter when we are gone.
Yep. Time to start thinning our “stuff” down. Oh, but first,
there are edits to finish and books to write…
Are you able to keep your “stuff” to a minimum? If so, how?
Every time I get rid of stuff, somehow more stuff appears to take their place. Maybe when it's the beginning of the next year I'll get the urge again to get stuff together for Goodwill or some other charity. For now, I'm working on my book again.
ReplyDeleteA lot of my brother's stuff went to Salvation Army including clothing and kitchen items like dishes. Most of the furniture wasn't worth keeping, except our old glass-topped tavle. Fortuantely, he didn't destroy it.
DeleteWe used to get rid of stuff every time we moved. In the early years of marriage, we were moving every year. It was a pain, but at least we didn't accumulate too much stuff. Fortunately, we are a bit more stable now and have been in the same house for 10 years. I know it's time for a major purge, but I'm not ready for the time and the mess I create while I do it.
ReplyDeleteI have the same issue...
DeleteHmmm. Sounds like a new Book in the making. Many people could use some advice on this major problem.
ReplyDeleteStay well.
I need advice on how to do it!
DeleteI've always been one to purge on a regular basis. However, when we moved last year to a smaller, one-story condo at Reata Glen, I realized that I hadn't purged nearly enough. Scaling down from a larger home meant seriously getting rid of lots of furniture, tools, clothes, kitchen ware and even picture frames (once the pictures were removed). It took time and much decision making, but once we were moved and settled, it felt so good to have pared down what we could do without, and start fresh with actual empty cupboards. Most of our furniture, a washer and dryer, vacuum cleaners, etc. went to the Marines at Camp Pendleton, who are transferred in with families and no furnishings. I'm happy to know that items still useful can be used by others, and I don't miss having them.
ReplyDeleteExcellent! My brother's furniture--except for our glass-topped dining table--was all ruined. So were all the appliances except the refrigerator. We brought the dining table home. (We had to get a new, smaller sofa so it will fit in the room. No great loss since we got the old one about 1989. We also got new dining chairs to go with it.) The old dining table and the coffee table (circa 1978) will go to the Salvation Army. We'll have the sofa picked up for disposition. My brother's furniture was taken to the dump, and a salvage company took the appliances for scrap. I dread the day we have to downsize. Every time I make an effort to start, we get MORE stuff!
DeleteYour topic is something that has been on my mind recently. We have lived in our house for 35 years and it is astounding how much stuff we have gathered. I heard that the best way is to go buy large plastic containers and start decluttering your house, but I've yet to actually do that. Great post and I'm so sorry you've had so many losses this year. I think most of us of a certain age have also had that experience recently.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I may be more motivated to clean things out now. We'll see how long it lasts... First, though, I have my brother's book to finish. Then there area edits...
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