Family Lost and Found

When my father died (I was seven), we lost track of all of his family. Many years later, his youngest sister contacted me. We grew to know (and love) her. We got together with her fairly often before she died.

Taken on our 25^th anniversary: Aunt Mary Evelyn, Lorna, brother Ron, Lorna’s mother

Although we reconnected with my aunt, it took another few years to locate her kids on Facebook. They led me to another precious cousin. Margaret came to visit my mother with us in June of 2011, and it was one of the last lucid days Mom had. Truly a gift!

June 2011

Over the next few years, I got to know these cousins well. Margaret and Suzanne came down and spent a few days with us here at the beach. What an amazing healing time it was!

Suzanne and Roger attended our 50^th wedding anniversary celebration, and we so happy to spend time with them. My brother also got to know them.

September 2015: Ron, Suzanne, Lorna, Roger

The above photo is especially poignant since we lost Roger last year. I am incredibly grateful that I got to spend as much time as I did with him. We adored each other.

Through DNA, I was able to connect with some other cousins on my dad’s side. They are the grandchildren of my grandfather’s brother, who homesteaded in Alberta, Canada. Last summer, we went there to attend their family reunion. I so enjoyed getting to know more about this branch of my family tree.

Canada Reunion 2019-Marilyn, Lorna, Linda

This Saturday, Linda, her husband David, and friends will spend the weekend with us. I am so looking forward to seeing them again.

When I think about all the years when I had no contact with these relatives, I feel sad. But then I remember all the blessings they have brought to my life, and I give thanks for them.

Do you have any “missing” relatives in your family? How did it happen? Have you tried to reconnect?

The Only Constant is Change

We all like things as they are. We like predictability. Most of us like routine. We like comfort. Unfortunately, nothing stays the same.

My friend, Serena, used to say, “When we’re green, we’re growing. When we’re ripe, we rot.”

Most change happens slowly over time. We don’t recognize it until we can no longer avoid it.

In our younger years, we learn more. We get smarter. We can do more and more. We build on our knowledge. We get stronger, too.

But time catches up with us. Fortunately, I was blessed with an outstanding memory—and despite my advancing years, I still have my mental faculties. Not everyone my age does…

I know I can no longer do many of the physical things I could do when I was younger. In high school, I was a dancer. I was very flexible. I used to be a distance swimmer. I was no good at sprints, but I had stamina and endurance. Not so much anymore.

I am watching many of my friends dealing with the issues of aging, and it isn’t pretty. Everything becomes more difficult. The eyesight diminishes. Hearing becomes faint or indistinct or fails altogether. The body becomes weaker.

So, every day, I remind myself I can still get out of bed and walk across the room under my own power. I am still capable of editing. I am a tough editor. I can keep all the threads of the story in my head. I can still usually spot grammar, punctuation, and syntax errors. I think continuing this work has helped me keep my mental skill—at least for now.

Since everything changes, and change is constant, how can we deal with it?

First, by not expecting everything to stay the same. Second, by accepting the changes as they happen, and adapt to the “new normal,” whatever it is. Third, grieve what is lost. (Yes, grief is a realistic response to loss, so don’t apologize for it.)

Last, we can have greater understanding and patience with those who are dealing with changes—large or small.

For myself, I keep trying to fight change in my own life—and losing the battle. So, I will be more patient with myself as well. Will you?